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We're Being Tested

我们正在测试

President Donald J. Trump: “We have more cases than anybody in the world. But why? Because we do more testing. When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn't do any testing, we would have very few cases.”

美国总统唐纳德·特朗普:“我们的病例比世界上任何人都多。但是为什么呢?因为我们做了更多的测试。当进行测试时,就有一个案例。当测试时,会发现有些人有问题。如果我们不做任何测试,病例就会非常少。”

The logic is unassailable. As writer Quinn Cummings tweeted almost immediately after the President’s remarks, “Remember kids: You don’t want a baby? Stay away from pregnancy tests!”

这种逻辑是无懈可击的。就像作家奎因·卡明斯在总统发表评论后马上在推特上说的那样:“记住孩子们:你们不想要孩子?远离怀孕测试!”

But think about what this no-testing idea could really mean. Have you had a colonoscopy? I have. Have you had a mammogram? I have not, but I hear they’re pretty rough. So think about what we could do to cut colon and breast cancer cases by simply doing away with those tests.

但是想想这个不测试的想法到底意味着什么。你做过结肠镜检查吗?做过。你做过乳房x光检查吗?我没有,但我听说它们很粗糙。所以想想我们可以做些什么来减少结肠癌和乳腺癌的病例通过简单地取消这些测试。

And think of all the poor children who are tested for various conditions, especially the newborns and their genetic tests. Why put the little tykes through it?And have you considered the impact on sports? I mean, without testing for performance enhancing drugs, if baseball is ever played again the records could just be demolished. And what kind of an Olympics could we have without testing for drugs. Swimming records, track and field records—these would just be absolutely decimated. It would be a wonder to behold. But anything wind-aided would still be disqualified. Because, hey, rules are rules.

想想所有接受各种条件测试的贫困儿童,尤其是新生儿和他们的基因测试。为什么要让孩子们经历这些呢?你考虑过对运动的影响吗?我的意思是,如果不进行兴奋剂测试,如果棒球比赛再来一次,这些记录就会被销毁。如果不进行药物检测,我们能举办一届什么样的奥运会呢?游泳记录、田径记录——这些都将被彻底销毁。这将是一个奇迹。但任何风助项目仍将被取消资格。因为,嘿,规则就是规则。

And obviously if we stop testing for the levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, there won’t be any noticeable increase in the levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.And need I even mention the annoying interruptions to our television programming with the emergency broadcast test. Let’s do away with those. And never have to deal with the possibility of a national emergency.

很明显,如果我们停止对大气中二氧化碳含量的检测,大气中二氧化碳含量不会有明显的增加。我还需要提一下我们的电视节目在紧急广播测试中出现的恼人干扰吗?我们把这些都去掉。而且永远不需要处理国家紧急状态的可能性。

Trump: “And we have prevailed. We will continue to prevail.”

特朗普:“我们赢了。我们将继续获胜。”

We're Being Tested

President Donald J. Trump: “We have more cases than anybody in the world. But why? Because we do more testing. When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn't do any testing, we would have very few cases.”

The logic is unassailable. As writer Quinn Cummings tweeted almost immediately after the President’s remarks, “Remember kids: You don’t want a baby? Stay away from pregnancy tests!”

But think about what this no-testing idea could really mean. Have you had a colonoscopy? I have. Have you had a mammogram? I have not, but I hear they’re pretty rough. So think about what we could do to cut colon and breast cancer cases by simply doing away with those tests.

And think of all the poor children who are tested for various conditions, especially the newborns and their genetic tests. Why put the little tykes through it?And have you considered the impact on sports? I mean, without testing for performance enhancing drugs, if baseball is ever played again the records could just be demolished. And what kind of an Olympics could we have without testing for drugs. Swimming records, track and field records—these would just be absolutely decimated. It would be a wonder to behold. But anything wind-aided would still be disqualified. Because, hey, rules are rules.

And obviously if we stop testing for the levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, there won’t be any noticeable increase in the levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.And need I even mention the annoying interruptions to our television programming with the emergency broadcast test. Let’s do away with those. And never have to deal with the possibility of a national emergency.

Trump: “And we have prevailed. We will continue to prevail.”


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